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Things I like to talk about: stuff that I’m curious about or that is counterintuitive, therapy stuff, earworms, kvetching about stuff I'm reading (or, rarely, writing), and occasionally raving about fic recs and links. Sometimes I write out my thoughts-naming meditation or something about my weird brand of secular paganism, but those are pretty rare at the moment.
Comments are welcome here, and I will try to reply unless you are probably trolling. As long as you apologize when you hurt someone then we're cool. If all you want to say is a heart/emoji, that's cool, too! If you need cuts with trigger warnings? Please let me know … unless you want me to trigger warn for parts of my identity like the word “queer”. Just. No. I like having company over and want you to feel safe here, but I have to feel safe here, too.
As someone whose body does not always work like it says on the label, I’m no longer putting processing/whining/complaining about that behind a cut. I saw a tumblr post a while back that said one reason abled people are so bad at interacting with disabled people is because we’re kept to the margins as much as possible. That folks don’t have to interact with us very often, so they don’t get enough practice to be good at it - and that is to everyone’s detriment.
Fandom stuff: I don’t write on AO3 much anymore, but! I'm currently into DC Batfamily crack, and I bookmark some fun and spicy things! A couple years ago Star Wars ate my brain, but I seem to be doing fine in its absence, so who needs brains, really? The fandoms I'm mostly not in anymore where you may have seen my comments include: The MCU, Leverage, The Witcher, The Good Place, Daredevil, Star Trek: AOS, Smallville, X-Men, Stargates SG1 and Atlantis, Teen Wolf, The Losers, and random comments on your musicals and 80's movies fics. (I will sadly no longer be reading Harry Potter or Good Omens fics, for terrible-people-can-suck-a-lemon reasons.)
If someone on DreamWidth OR AO3 is harassing you or doing you a microaggression, drop me a DM? As a white anti-racist ally, an antifascist, and a person who believes in the power of weaponized empathy, I need more practice having uncomfortable conversations with people who need to be gently informed what consequences their actions may be having for themselves and the people they are (hopefully unwittingly) hurting. Or! I can talk smack about the people upsetting you and write insulting haiku about them until you feel validated and can process the bad-feels. Whatever you need, I'm gonna try to be there for that. I take the bonds of community seriously.
FANWORKS POLICY: I do not give permission for my words or works to be fed into an LLM or AI training of any kind. Other than that caveat, if you want to podfic, remix, translate, make fanart, or in any way transform any of my fan works, you go right ahead! Link me!
I do SPAG and basic beta reading, too. Just PM me.
Therapy stuff to keep track more easily
Aug. 9th, 2025 06:22 pmI have now put all the separate therapy sections under their own searchable tags.
Therapy stuff:
CBT Daily Check in with feelings wheel
Communication,
Anxiety,
Stress Management,
Anger, &
Self-Esteem
Shadow Work.
other things
Shadow Work journaling promptssocial and relational skills,
basic check-in with yourself.
Neurodivergent-friendly DBT
Lots of these are locked posts. PM me or message here if you want access.
Therapy stuff:
CBT Daily Check in with feelings wheel
Communication,
Anxiety,
Stress Management,
Anger, &
Self-Esteem
Shadow Work.
other things
Shadow Work journaling promptssocial and relational skills,
basic check-in with yourself.
Neurodivergent-friendly DBT
Lots of these are locked posts. PM me or message here if you want access.
(no subject)
Jul. 5th, 2025 07:55 pmI just gave myself a headache by cracking my neck too hard, and then helped moderate a Virtual Accessible Pride event YouTube livestream for the first time. It was A Lot but I am still here. We only had one troll, too, so that part was cool.
The You Are Not So Smart Podcast did an episode a while back about cultures of genius vs cultures of growth that I listened to this week, and it is rearranging some stuff in my head in helpful ways, explaining why people do the frustrating thing where they compete to tear each other down because in a lot of cultures I was raised in, only the Single Most Correct person got any respect. And I was raised to do this, and managed to train myself out of it once I understood how nonsensical it was, but I didn't understand why it was that way or how we got there. So I will be having thinky thoughts.
Shadow work: ( Read more... )
The You Are Not So Smart Podcast did an episode a while back about cultures of genius vs cultures of growth that I listened to this week, and it is rearranging some stuff in my head in helpful ways, explaining why people do the frustrating thing where they compete to tear each other down because in a lot of cultures I was raised in, only the Single Most Correct person got any respect. And I was raised to do this, and managed to train myself out of it once I understood how nonsensical it was, but I didn't understand why it was that way or how we got there. So I will be having thinky thoughts.
Shadow work: ( Read more... )
5 wants 5 needs
Jul. 3rd, 2025 09:29 pm1. I want to not have a headache. I need better health.
2. I want AO3 to not be down for maintenance right now. I need entertainment when I have pain and dysfunction.
3. I want to not have to worry about whether I’m communicating clearly enough to overcome other people’s bad—faith takes and will to misunderstand me. I need to not be judged by people whose brains don’t work like mine.
4. I want Mom to stop smoking. I need to worry less about her and it not reassuring at all that she has to be on blood thinners bc she won’t give up nicotine.
5. I want to have a fancy TENS unit that can give my body sensations to a doctor ( @or other third parties) for the purpose of getting them to believe me about medical bullshit. I need people who disregard how much I hurt or how tired I am to have to put up or shut up.
2. I want AO3 to not be down for maintenance right now. I need entertainment when I have pain and dysfunction.
3. I want to not have to worry about whether I’m communicating clearly enough to overcome other people’s bad—faith takes and will to misunderstand me. I need to not be judged by people whose brains don’t work like mine.
4. I want Mom to stop smoking. I need to worry less about her and it not reassuring at all that she has to be on blood thinners bc she won’t give up nicotine.
5. I want to have a fancy TENS unit that can give my body sensations to a doctor ( @or other third parties) for the purpose of getting them to believe me about medical bullshit. I need people who disregard how much I hurt or how tired I am to have to put up or shut up.
Batrick’s Storage Unit of DOOM
Jul. 2nd, 2025 07:51 amI can’t get the pictures to load on Imgur, but I do have pics of Bat’s 10’x25’ storage unit, packed chin-high with decaying cardboard boxes and trash bags full of a mish-mash of possessions packed, at the last minute, in no logical order. How did Bat come to be in possession of a full storage unit of DOOM? Some of that is AuDHD executive dysfunction, and some of it is life circumstances being hard for someone with those disabilities to navigate. You may have seen the ADHD aphorism “DOOM” ie. “Don’t Organize, Only Move”? Well, you’ll be seeing it a lot in this post.
I will tell the sad tale behind a ( Read more... )
Wow, long post is long.
I will tell the sad tale behind a ( Read more... )
Wow, long post is long.
(no subject)
Jul. 1st, 2025 09:01 pmToday has been a day of cramps, grocery shopping, more cramps, talking to people on the phone, learning to debone a chicken, and having figured out when to do class work to get ahead of schedule without getting a headache from the overhead fan throwing flickering shadows over everything when the sunshine is coming in the clerestory window.
Let’s hope that works out tomorrow.
Let’s hope that works out tomorrow.
Things and stuff, stuff and things.
Jun. 23rd, 2025 10:14 pmI got the I’m-not-judging-your-life-choices face from my cardiologist last week, and since then have been taking my meds every four hours like clockwork, as instructed. It has really helped with the anxiety and random periods of shakiness I’ve been getting, so I guess she knew what she was talking about. 😅
I want to have either a Crow Party or a Goblin Market, sometime in the fall. But I know like zero people here, so I am asking around about how to do that in a strange mid-sized city. I was advised by one of my sagely and wise friends to get to know local bartenders at music venues, as they will have a good idea of local players, and I am also thinking of asking local pagan artists if they are vending anywhere this fall that might be amenable to my having a small, possibly-kid-friendly time slot in their event.
Other ideas of how to accomplish this are also welcome in case I strike out with the few artists whose business cards I have from the Solstice event I went to.
I want to have either a Crow Party or a Goblin Market, sometime in the fall. But I know like zero people here, so I am asking around about how to do that in a strange mid-sized city. I was advised by one of my sagely and wise friends to get to know local bartenders at music venues, as they will have a good idea of local players, and I am also thinking of asking local pagan artists if they are vending anywhere this fall that might be amenable to my having a small, possibly-kid-friendly time slot in their event.
Other ideas of how to accomplish this are also welcome in case I strike out with the few artists whose business cards I have from the Solstice event I went to.
Fun in the sun? Well, kinda.
Jun. 21st, 2025 07:19 pmI went to a Summer Solstice festival, and had a gyro and didn’t get a headache despite walking around in the sun and heat! I bought a great big labradorite pendant for me, and a palm stone for a friend, and some hot sauce and a laser carved magnet for a different friend. I am ahead on getting people gifts this year! And I supported independent artists, so yay for that.
In homework news, I am done with the stupid answers to the Vision Board for Basic Ass People journal questions, as of this evening, so now that whole project is done. I have about half the material reviewed for the Science of Movement mid-term, and I’m about to start in on the A+P homework tomorrow morning.
In other news, Vahdam Teas’ Vanilla Matcha is delicious and amazing. And now? Now I knit.
In homework news, I am done with the stupid answers to the Vision Board for Basic Ass People journal questions, as of this evening, so now that whole project is done. I have about half the material reviewed for the Science of Movement mid-term, and I’m about to start in on the A+P homework tomorrow morning.
In other news, Vahdam Teas’ Vanilla Matcha is delicious and amazing. And now? Now I knit.
Friend’s mom died
Jun. 17th, 2025 06:41 amYesterday died in a fire. I lit that match myself.
My friend’s mom died at like 5 AM yesterday, I’m behind where I need to be on homework, and I got a good massage with a lot of neck and shoulder work but then immediately got another headache when I got home which the whole point was to keep the headache from coming back. Bc of course.
So:
• I’m going back on the anti-illness protocol for headaches from sinus infection, and seeing if that helps: use of tea tree oil aromatherapy inhaler every hour for the next few days; lots of pumpkin seeds in case this is viral in nature; using a neti pot at least once a day which I should do now, probably.
• I made some calls and did some internet things when my friend’s power and internet went out yesterday (bc of course) and helped her get set up with whole body donation. I may ping her once a day with a puppy meme, or other short way to say she is loved and cared for, but right now her instinct is to hole up and lick her wounds, and I respect that.
• It is time to get out of my comfortable bed and do a bunch of homework.
Meow. 🐱 Fuck yesterday and fuck today, too.
My friend’s mom died at like 5 AM yesterday, I’m behind where I need to be on homework, and I got a good massage with a lot of neck and shoulder work but then immediately got another headache when I got home which the whole point was to keep the headache from coming back. Bc of course.
So:
• I’m going back on the anti-illness protocol for headaches from sinus infection, and seeing if that helps: use of tea tree oil aromatherapy inhaler every hour for the next few days; lots of pumpkin seeds in case this is viral in nature; using a neti pot at least once a day which I should do now, probably.
• I made some calls and did some internet things when my friend’s power and internet went out yesterday (bc of course) and helped her get set up with whole body donation. I may ping her once a day with a puppy meme, or other short way to say she is loved and cared for, but right now her instinct is to hole up and lick her wounds, and I respect that.
• It is time to get out of my comfortable bed and do a bunch of homework.
Meow. 🐱 Fuck yesterday and fuck today, too.
A friend’s mom is in the hospital with possible complications from a stroke, and friend lost her dad a couple years ago. I’m not sure what I’m hoping for other than miracles of medical science. Do I hope that if she passes, then she passes around the same time as her husband, so that my friend only has a week or two of bad anniversaries? Or do I hope that she hangs in there to spread out the griefs, even though that would be a grinding misery all its own?
I am sending food to the hospital so that my friend doesn’t have to deal with getting food together or making decisions about anything but her mom’s care. I have offered other forms of support, but those she will have to choose when or whether to take me up on them.
*worries in a major key with discordant minor notes*
I am sending food to the hospital so that my friend doesn’t have to deal with getting food together or making decisions about anything but her mom’s care. I have offered other forms of support, but those she will have to choose when or whether to take me up on them.
*worries in a major key with discordant minor notes*
Headaches again and 5wants/5needs
Jun. 15th, 2025 06:18 amYesterday the headache that I’ve had off and on since Wednesday came back at about 11 AM, so I got to go to a yarn swap but not the No Kings protest. I did call my congress-critters though and had my ex husband divert the extra money he wants to send me to bail funds and the ACLU.
Gonna try the 5 Wants / 5 Hidden Needs thing again.
( Read more... )
Gonna try the 5 Wants / 5 Hidden Needs thing again.
( Read more... )
For folks following RFK Jr's attacks on healthcare and public health, you may know that yesterday he dismissed ALL 17 MEMBERS of the CDC's vaccine advisory committee. He intends to replace them, almost certainly, with people who will go along with his antivax agenda. Public comment is open now for this committee's next meeting. Here are instructions, talking points, and a sample comment folks can feel free to share: Tell the CDC: We Need Broad Access to Vaccines and Science-Based Expert Advisory Committees (by Precaution on Substack)
Public comment to CDC ACIP vaccine committee opened on 6/9, and closes 6/20 at 11:59pm EDT . If you think that sounds bafflingly short, that’s because it is. The current regime changed the rules for public comment periods and didn’t tell anybody, probably to make it sound like the public are less invested in politics than previous administrations, and prop up the illusion of confidence in this regime. 🤬🤬🤬 Fuck THAT noise!
Link outside the HTML if anyone needs that:
https://precaution.substack.com/p/tell-the-cdc-we-need-broad-access
Public comment to CDC ACIP vaccine committee opened on 6/9, and closes 6/20 at 11:59pm EDT . If you think that sounds bafflingly short, that’s because it is. The current regime changed the rules for public comment periods and didn’t tell anybody, probably to make it sound like the public are less invested in politics than previous administrations, and prop up the illusion of confidence in this regime. 🤬🤬🤬 Fuck THAT noise!
Link outside the HTML if anyone needs that:
https://precaution.substack.com/p/tell-the-cdc-we-need-broad-access
Unfollowing. Feel free to do the same.
Jun. 8th, 2025 08:11 pmI’m going on a journal-cleaning spree. If we have not really interacted in the last six months, I am probably going to unsubscribe from following you. I don’t have enough spoons and free time to follow all the people I still kinda want to. I deeply resent having to prioritize some kinds of human connection below real world practical considerations, but … such is life. 😞
I also will possibly be on here less to keep up with things for the next month or two, so if you have my contact info and want me to see a post of yours, please send me a link? School is going to head back into kick-my-ass mode here in another week or two, and possibly stay there as things move from science-heavy to the business and legal classes I am required to take. 😞😞😞
I have a headache just thinking about it.
I also will possibly be on here less to keep up with things for the next month or two, so if you have my contact info and want me to see a post of yours, please send me a link? School is going to head back into kick-my-ass mode here in another week or two, and possibly stay there as things move from science-heavy to the business and legal classes I am required to take. 😞😞😞
I have a headache just thinking about it.
Violet Affleck's essay in Yale Global Health Review links COVID denialism to climate denialism: https://yaleglobalhealthreview.com/2025/05/18/a-chronically-ill-earth-covid-organizing-as-a-model-climate-response-in-los-angeles/
https://www.reuters.com/sustainability/boards-policy-regulation/gileads-trodelvy-with-keytruda-cuts-breast-cancer-risk-by-35-trial-2025-05-31/ “Gilead's Trodelvy, with Keytruda, cuts breast cancer risk by 35% in trial” Admittedly it is only for a specific subset of triple-negative breast cancers, but those are an aggressive and fast-moving set of cancers. So yay! Good news!
https://www.audhdflourishing.com/podcast/episode/4217e513/101-time-cannot-be-wasted - Y’all, Mattia Mauree cannot keep doing this to me - they walk into my house and then they say something that hits me where I live. I feel like I’ve been very gently murdered. It’s good for me to look at ways my life aligns with other people’s, but for serious y’all, sometimes I just cannot with all this personal growth. Anyway it’s a good podcast but if you were a parentified kid, maybe go in prepared for some light emotional manslaughter.
https://bigthink.com/smart-skills/how-curiosity-rewires-your-brain-for-change/ How Curiosity Rewires Your Brain for Change, in BigThink magazine.
The other day I got cat pics, and the fur babies are doing well. Then that reminded me to send him stuff, so today I sent Ghost some old pics of him and his friends. He’s doing okay, too, I think? I’m like 60% sure he’s no more miserable now than he was when I decided to get the divorce, anyway.
https://www.reuters.com/sustainability/boards-policy-regulation/gileads-trodelvy-with-keytruda-cuts-breast-cancer-risk-by-35-trial-2025-05-31/ “Gilead's Trodelvy, with Keytruda, cuts breast cancer risk by 35% in trial” Admittedly it is only for a specific subset of triple-negative breast cancers, but those are an aggressive and fast-moving set of cancers. So yay! Good news!
https://www.audhdflourishing.com/podcast/episode/4217e513/101-time-cannot-be-wasted - Y’all, Mattia Mauree cannot keep doing this to me - they walk into my house and then they say something that hits me where I live. I feel like I’ve been very gently murdered. It’s good for me to look at ways my life aligns with other people’s, but for serious y’all, sometimes I just cannot with all this personal growth. Anyway it’s a good podcast but if you were a parentified kid, maybe go in prepared for some light emotional manslaughter.
https://bigthink.com/smart-skills/how-curiosity-rewires-your-brain-for-change/ How Curiosity Rewires Your Brain for Change, in BigThink magazine.
The other day I got cat pics, and the fur babies are doing well. Then that reminded me to send him stuff, so today I sent Ghost some old pics of him and his friends. He’s doing okay, too, I think? I’m like 60% sure he’s no more miserable now than he was when I decided to get the divorce, anyway.
https://ohandreagibson.tumblr.com/ising:
This is my body
I have weather veins
They’re especially sensitive to dust storms and hurricanes
When I’m nervous my teeth chatter like a wheelbarrow collecting rain
I am rusty when I talk- it is the storm in me
( Read more... )
This is my body
I have weather veins
They’re especially sensitive to dust storms and hurricanes
When I’m nervous my teeth chatter like a wheelbarrow collecting rain
I am rusty when I talk- it is the storm in me
( Read more... )
Train to Derry by Theo Dorgan
May. 24th, 2025 10:30 amA crow beats on the updraft over a scragged hawthorn,
rocked but plunging on. A stick of Paras, bristling with nerves,
coughs and boots forward along the sheugh.
Long after the soldiers have gone, the crows will settle home.
Since Newry, choppers have been battling back and forth
across the track. These trains are overheated, sweat
stings in my underslept eyes; I'd rather the crows' lift and pluck
than to be here, rocked to the quick, driving on Derry.
I often wish, my love, that we were birds, the wide domains
of Ireland at our turn and fall, the world's wind
our natural element - rain, ice, hail or sun our gods,
the tall pines our greenwhip lightning rods.
Tonight there's a horned moon and Venus trailing
low over the Waterside. Tonight let me fold you in my wings,
pray nobody's killed in dark of country or town. We'll settle
the long night in another of our beds, watch what the morning brings.
Been a minute
May. 13th, 2025 04:40 pmI did okay on midterms (I think), bombed a paper that I had not known was due bc it was in the syllabus in the wrong place (…), and got three different vaccines - because I both needed them and wanted to try a piece of internet advice about the covid booster for folks with dysautonomia and possible MCAS.
I took a cetirizine, a Zantac, and a Dramamine an hour before getting the covid booster, another antihistamine at bedtime, and one in the morning the next day. Effect: the day after the shots I was a little tired but not more than a normal day for me, my neck was a bit stiff but not to the point of having a headache, and my arm was sore but could be touched easily and worn long sleeves on. The day after that? I was _completely fine_. So if you have reason to suspect that the covid booster is worse for you than it is for others, feel free to treat yourself like you’re allergic to it.
In other news, my inner teenaged!Heidi is chuffed because guess who has two thumbs and their first gray hair? Yeah, this fully-grown-up adult! I made it, y’all! I made it to damn near 45 and haven’t even wound up in a mental hospital yet! Woot woot!
Plants are happy, most of my people are doing as well as they can be, all political things considered. I, uh. I have been stressed out and not on here much, so if you had a big thing happen and I didn’t comment on the post I probably missed it, and feel free to drop me a link to it in my DMs or whatnot.
In other news: links! The big good news first:
https://neurosciencenews.com/vagus-nerve-stimulation-ptsd-28818/
This is going to take a while to get replicated but should move faster than studying the MDMA method of doing basically the same stuff.
YouTube links behind the cut: ( Read more... )
I took a cetirizine, a Zantac, and a Dramamine an hour before getting the covid booster, another antihistamine at bedtime, and one in the morning the next day. Effect: the day after the shots I was a little tired but not more than a normal day for me, my neck was a bit stiff but not to the point of having a headache, and my arm was sore but could be touched easily and worn long sleeves on. The day after that? I was _completely fine_. So if you have reason to suspect that the covid booster is worse for you than it is for others, feel free to treat yourself like you’re allergic to it.
In other news, my inner teenaged!Heidi is chuffed because guess who has two thumbs and their first gray hair? Yeah, this fully-grown-up adult! I made it, y’all! I made it to damn near 45 and haven’t even wound up in a mental hospital yet! Woot woot!
Plants are happy, most of my people are doing as well as they can be, all political things considered. I, uh. I have been stressed out and not on here much, so if you had a big thing happen and I didn’t comment on the post I probably missed it, and feel free to drop me a link to it in my DMs or whatnot.
In other news: links! The big good news first:
https://neurosciencenews.com/vagus-nerve-stimulation-ptsd-28818/
Summary: A pioneering clinical study found that pairing vagus nerve stimulation (VNS) with traditional therapy eliminated PTSD diagnoses in all participants up to six months post-treatment. The trial combined prolonged exposure therapy with brief bursts of VNS via an implanted device, enhancing neuroplasticity and sustaining remission.
This is going to take a while to get replicated but should move faster than studying the MDMA method of doing basically the same stuff.
YouTube links behind the cut: ( Read more... )
(no subject)
Apr. 23rd, 2025 07:49 pmhttps://www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/book-review-shadow-work/ There is already a shadow work workbook for neurodivergent folk! Now I just need to get my hands on it.
https://www.whec.com/top-news/buffalo-researchers-create-a-vaccine-to-combat-a-deadly-bird-flu-strain/ Bird Flu (H5N1) vaccine news! Researchers at the University of Buffalo have developed a vaccine that achieved 100% protection in mice studies against a lethal H5N1 bird flu strain!
https://bsky.app/profile/sailorrooscout.bsky.social/post/3lng2fdbw4s2c - Peer reviewed info in this BlueSky thread, but you have to log in.
https://www.livescience.com/health/neuroscience/scientists-hijacked-the-human-eye-to-get-it-to-see-a-brand-new-color-its-called-olo Scientists basically hijacked the human eye to make people see a new color. If your face just did a thing with how much you desperately want to see the new color, then we're wearing the same hat.
( Link to YouTube video of Colossal Squid behind cut )
https://www.whec.com/top-news/buffalo-researchers-create-a-vaccine-to-combat-a-deadly-bird-flu-strain/ Bird Flu (H5N1) vaccine news! Researchers at the University of Buffalo have developed a vaccine that achieved 100% protection in mice studies against a lethal H5N1 bird flu strain!
https://bsky.app/profile/sailorrooscout.bsky.social/post/3lng2fdbw4s2c - Peer reviewed info in this BlueSky thread, but you have to log in.
https://www.livescience.com/health/neuroscience/scientists-hijacked-the-human-eye-to-get-it-to-see-a-brand-new-color-its-called-olo Scientists basically hijacked the human eye to make people see a new color. If your face just did a thing with how much you desperately want to see the new color, then we're wearing the same hat.
"With this technique, the researchers enabled five people to see a new color, dubbed "olo," which the study participants described as a "blue-green of unprecedented saturation." The researchers, some of whom participated in the experiment themselves, described their technique and the new color in a study published Friday (April 18) in the journal Science Advances."
( Link to YouTube video of Colossal Squid behind cut )
5 Wants + Shadow work metacognition
Apr. 20th, 2025 06:58 pm5 Wants + underlying Unmet Needs: ( Read more... )
In shadow work news, either I’m really good at sliding sideways around things that make me uncomfortable, or the people who wrote the Shadow work prompts I’ve been using are way too fucking neurotypical for the way they frame things to be helpful for me. Like, the last prompts implied that I should rate my loved ones on a hierarchy? Which does make me uncomfortable, but for autism-type “my brain doesn’t do that” reasons and not “this is a part of yourself that your past has taught you to disavow” type reasons. I may need to go get a library card and check out some print media on the subject, or just start doing a bunch more thinking about the questions and figuring out whether they can even be helpful or if I need to rewrite them the way I rewrote so much of the cisheteropatriarchy out of the CBT workbook prompts here.
In shadow work news, either I’m really good at sliding sideways around things that make me uncomfortable, or the people who wrote the Shadow work prompts I’ve been using are way too fucking neurotypical for the way they frame things to be helpful for me. Like, the last prompts implied that I should rate my loved ones on a hierarchy? Which does make me uncomfortable, but for autism-type “my brain doesn’t do that” reasons and not “this is a part of yourself that your past has taught you to disavow” type reasons. I may need to go get a library card and check out some print media on the subject, or just start doing a bunch more thinking about the questions and figuring out whether they can even be helpful or if I need to rewrite them the way I rewrote so much of the cisheteropatriarchy out of the CBT workbook prompts here.
Illness and wrecking this journal
Apr. 20th, 2025 05:16 pmI bought a Wreck This Journal at Half-Price Books on Monday because I am trying to find and dig in to the places that are uncomfortable this year, and I figure this might go along with the Shadow work? We’ll see. So far I’m mostly just having a small amount of fun … despite the intestinal wackness.
Bc I’m also sick today. Stepdad’s hour in the bathroom the other day seems to have been a picked up stomach bug from somewhere, and ofc he’s given it to Mom and I. It’s gross, but not actually much more painful or tired than is normal for me. I canceled today’s plans and need to text some folks about stocking up on ginger tea and electrolytes just in case I was contagious yesterday. Most intestinal things are fairly short of incubation period - even if they have a long period of contagion - so everyone I saw before Friday should be safe. But that still leaves a fair few people I’ve seen.
I am not best pleased by this, but it could be much worse, I suppose. I could have been contagious the first couple days here and gotten immune compromised folx sick. That would suuuuuuck.
Hope y’all are having a less crappy day than me, and that you get a Wreck This Journal if you are a perfectionist or afraid of annotating your books, your possessions, or your life. ✌️
Bc I’m also sick today. Stepdad’s hour in the bathroom the other day seems to have been a picked up stomach bug from somewhere, and ofc he’s given it to Mom and I. It’s gross, but not actually much more painful or tired than is normal for me. I canceled today’s plans and need to text some folks about stocking up on ginger tea and electrolytes just in case I was contagious yesterday. Most intestinal things are fairly short of incubation period - even if they have a long period of contagion - so everyone I saw before Friday should be safe. But that still leaves a fair few people I’ve seen.
I am not best pleased by this, but it could be much worse, I suppose. I could have been contagious the first couple days here and gotten immune compromised folx sick. That would suuuuuuck.
Hope y’all are having a less crappy day than me, and that you get a Wreck This Journal if you are a perfectionist or afraid of annotating your books, your possessions, or your life. ✌️
