Jan. 5th, 2024

flamingsword: “in my defense, I was left unsupervised” (Default)
First off: I am safely home from the funeral.

Second: on this trip, when I was not worrying about other people I was doing desire mapping and trying to set intentions for the coming year. I had some realizations. Such as:
• I am in need of remedial self-care lessons! I have no idea how to get myself to do the things for more than a week.
• I was not the only person in Mom’s family whose passive SI/low self esteem/existential rage shows up in the form of being cavalier about risks to your life and health. I think it might be all of us.
• I did not get gendered correctly a single time by anyone in the Missouri side of the family, but I’m still going to try to get them into therapy, only I might be a little bitchy about it, bc I am not a fucking saint.

Like, I do have a list of things I want to do more often, but like … how do you remember to consistently do stuff that’s good for you when your brain doesn’t want to form habits? Should I just add voice memos to do self care to my existing alarms? That’s literally my only idea, here. If you have more, PLEASE SHARE! Omg I need so much help.

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flamingsword: “in my defense, I was left unsupervised” (Default)
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